A Gentleman of Leisure by P. G. Wodehouse

By P. G. Wodehouse

A Gentleman of rest is a comic book novel devoted to Douglas Fairbanks—who starred within the movie version—and issues a tender guy, his love existence, and a housebreaking.

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My heart raced, I couldn’t get my breath. Desperation, panic, and frustration washed over me like waves over Osama bin Laden. I was all alone, at the entrance of hell. All of a sudden, an old man appeared. It was the official greeter of hell. Think of a Walmart greeter only older. His name was Oscar. At first I was in denial. I kept saying to myself: “I can’t be dead, I have so many things on my bucket list that I’ll never get around to doing on earth. ” The tip-off that maybe I was dead and in hell was the fact that the room temperature was approaching sixteen thousand degrees; plus, the loudspeakers were playing the entire Taylor Swift discography (which, I have come to realize, is really the same song).

This explains the rest of the anger. What was fascinating was that even though we had just met, we had a connection. And a real one, not like the kind on eHarmony where the only thing those twenty-nine dimensions of compatibility means is that the computer has matched up two identically superficial people. I got the feeling that Satan liked me, or at the minimum he was lonely . . or that there was something about me being an accountant that intrigued him. Satan cleared his throat, a sound that I will never forget.

For me it was different. ” It was my first wife. Although she was still alive on earth, at least from the waist up, Satan had manifested itself in her image to strike fear in my heart. ” Satan looked at me thoughtfully. ” This was the moment. We were, for a brief few seconds, equals. I had something Satan wanted to hear—the ultimate question. I looked at Satan and asked, “What happens if you flunk the orientation test? Do you go to another level of hell? ” Satan stared at me for what seemed like an eternity.

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