America's dumbest criminals : based on true stories from law by Daniel R. Butler

By Daniel R. Butler

From the hit syndicated tv express come 2 hundred tales of fumbling felons, clumsy crooks, and ridiculous robbers—all the crimes are real, however the names were replaced to guard the silly!

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The officer did. He saw it all, from Jack’s head down to his toes. Jumpin’ Jack was finally arrested for indecent exposure. 11 Beats the Hell out of Me Marshal Larry Hawkins of Little Rock has his own story about Jumpin’ Jack Flasher. “I had a run-in with Jack myself once,” Hawkins told one of our America’s Dumbest Criminals writers. “One day I was patrolling the downtown area when this skinny little guy stops my car. It was Jumpin’ Jack. From the looks of him, he’d been worked over pretty good by somebody who wasn’t messin’ around.

But she should have worked a little harder on her forgery. The clerk spotted it immediately and called the police. The dishonest lottery player was arrested on the spot and charged with fraud. Then the arresting officer made an interesting discovery. He found the real number under her bad forgery. His revelation made her feel even dumber. Had she looked farther up the chart of winning numbers, she would have discovered that her original ticket number had also been a winner—for five thousand dollars!

I’ll get you the money, man,” one frightened employee replied, “but the grill’s already been shut down. ” “Do it,” came the gunman’s reply. ” Meanwhile, a passing motorist noticed that the two men sitting in the burger shack were holding shotguns. Suspicious indeed. The motorist phoned police. “Here’s your food,” the shaking worker said. The burger bandits grabbed the greasy sack and hit the door just as the sound of police sirens and squealing tires filled the night air. In their haste, they left the stolen money sitting on the table.

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