Cocktail Time by P. G. Wodehouse

By P. G. Wodehouse

If Lord Ickenham had no longer succumbed to the temptation to dislodge the hat of irascible quality control, Beefy Bastable, with a well-aimed Brazil nut, the latter's recognized criminal brain may well by no means were encouraged to literature. however the incident provoked Beefy to write down his divulge of the more youthful new release, a unique so surprising that it triggered unending repercussions for its hapless writer and sparked off a sequence of outrageous misunderstandings. And it sounds as if in simple terms the artistic abilities of Lord Ickenham himself may perhaps unravel issues.

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If at dinner you are requested to help any one to sauce, do not pour it over the meat or vegetables, but on one side. If you should have to carve and help a joint, do not load a person’s plate – it is vulgar: also in serving soup, one ladleful to each plate is sufficient. Fish does not require a knife, but should be divided by the aid of a piece of bread. Hints on Etiquette - S-T-R-E-T-C32 32 32 27/07/2005 11:21:34 DINNERS The application of a knife to fish is likely to destroy the delicacy of its flavour; besides which, fish sauces are often acidulated; acids corrode steel, and draw from it a disagreeable taste.

At most, you may lift your hat; but even that is better avoided – unless, indeed, she first bow – as neither she nor her friends can know who or what you are. Do not wear black or coloured gloves, lest your partner look sulky; even should you be in mourning, wear white gloves, not black. People in DEEP mourning have no business in a ballroom at all. Hints on Etiquette - S-T-R-E-T-C55 55 55 27/07/2005 11:21:38 HINTS ON ETIQUETTE LEAD the lady through the quadrille; do not drag her, nor clasp her hand as if it were made of wood, lest she not unjustly think you a boor.

It is a delicate subject to hint at the incongruities of a lady’s dress – yet, alas! it forces itself upon our notice when we see a female attired with walking in a elaborate gorgeousness, dress only fit for picking her way along a carriage the sloppy streets, after a week’s snow and a three days’ thaw, walking in a dress only fit for a carriage. When country people visit London, and see a lady enveloped in ermine and velvets, reclining Hints on Etiquette - S-T-R-E-T-C49 49 49 27/07/2005 11:21:37 HINTS ON ETIQUETTE in a carriage, they are apt to imagine it is the fashionable dress, and adopt it accordingly, overlooking the coronet emblazoned on the panels, and that its occupant is a duchess or a marchioness at the least, and that were the same person to walk, she would be in a very different costume, and then only attended by a footman.

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